1/09/2009

old confession .

man ; i've dreaded this moment - confessing to her ALL dhet i feel & i've felt for her . thinkinq if i do ; i'm getting to close to allow rejection once more ; thinkinq she'll break wht's left of my heart - dhet of which i want to trust her with . but i no lonqer care ; she deserves to know how i think of her everyday - fein'n to be by her side to wipe away her tears when she cryy . - to bless the smile her mouth/lips perfects - jzt to have her attention even if it's jzt a liddle of it . she deserves every word dhet proceeds . - when her status hit " taken " ; it hurt ; but when the tatto came & wifeyy title - i couldn't take itt . she was tell'n me it was nothinq serious ; they fought & argue'd eveyday - but actions show'd more ; titles were moree . so i came with the tryna be happy for her ; wishing them the best of luck when in reality my heart was/is mourning for her lovee . she tells me " if it's meant to be ; then it will " but i jzt don't feel itt . her qirl is mastering her heart & her love when i'm window shopping - wanting so bad to jzt be theree but this remains at a wish factor because physically - i can't be hers when emotionally - i'm ready to capture her heart & provoke happiness with a title of us . so how can she tell me it'll be if it's meant when she is your present & the future isn't promised ? . this is how i feel limited - i still doubt if anything will change ; & i no longer blame her for dhet b/c she tried & i can only thank her for dhet . iff i never get a chance ; can yu tell her how i love everything about her ; the way her voice remains at the same tone when she's mad at me jzt as when we're vibing - how when she sleeps ; i can hear breathing perfectlyy & it's musiq to my ears . & how if she's happy then i'm forced to be happy for her b/c dhet's wht really matters & how my " jzt liking her alot " has progressed to love . i've been scared to tell her this b/c i feel like it's over rated & she's been toll it many times & later she's hurt & heartbroken . instead of " i love yu " - i'd rather yu tell her ; my soul is committed to her & i'm here when she's ready . until ; i'll continue to equip myself jzt for her ; jzt for our future .

so , i wasn't sure how to give back the rejects

therefore i flipped it & presented yu with the flesh of the classics

scrutinized by the eyes of lacking minds

taken from my lands; cuffs placed on my words

swallow the ink & spit it back verbatim ; not skipping an emotion .

no mind for societys setbacks .



MODERN .

lett go .

yu had my heart by no intentions ; it jzt seem'd to reside in your grasp . we often dont pick the location our heart finds comforting . we may not TRUST the environment ; or in basic words - giving u my heart wasn't the plan bechus i didnt wanna fall - kind of jzt wanted to lean forward & peek in , but i fail'd at dhet . & once i did ; i began to realize your grasp wasnt worthy of THE hold . your grip was loose & after a while i knew it but i held tighter bechus i gave u benefit of doubt & thought maybe ; jzt maybe u could hold my all . yu proved me wrong ; i let qo bechus i was qonna fall either way .

free falling .