& then wht ?

slowing fading interest
& processing justifications .

i want to hate her , but i can't & i prolly shouldn't bechus wht she done isn't causing my hurt, it's just the catalyst of it . i tried to act as if i didn't care , i wanted that so bad - be carefree on the whole situation , but everytime when i take a minute to look at her page , think on past conversations between us - it hits me . i actually have to sit & remember , blah . i don't want to see her face , hear about her , let' alone speak to her occasionally but eh , i do for an odd reason . i guess i'm hoping one day , she'll ... just feel wht i'm feeling each day & shed one tear of the many i've shed , or maybe even an apology but then again , i'm jzt dhet , hoping bechus she has who she wants & i'm jzt teasing w . my own insecurities . letting go is easily said , & easily done w. the dying alarm of false caring , but i actually cared & unfortunately still do .

& still , i don't want to , so in the time that is to pass,

i'm simply
trying .